Sunday, February 10, 2008

Losses.

No matter how hard I try, I keep hating changes. I hate our spelling reform, I still somewhat reject the Euro, I dislike new political coalitions. I hate that they built a new house next door and that my beautiful flower field is gone forever, I hated graduating from school and most of all, I hate losing things.

A friend of mine, S., suddenly stopped talking to me about two years ago. No matter how often I tried to contact her, she simply ignored me, didn't return my calls or respond to my messages. I thought to myself that we are no longer six years old, so if she has a problem with me I will just wait until she feels ready to bring it up. She never did. I still think of her a lot and it hurts so much to know that such a precious friendship was thrown out the window and I don't even effing know why. If she would tell me and give me a chance to explain and apologize for whatever I have apparently done to hurt her feelings, I would be okay and be able to move on, but this?

Can we move out of kindergarten now? Please?

I found old pictures of her today and cried. She was one of not too many precious friends I have, one who carried around with herself secrets I have never shared with anyone else. So do we really have to play pre school? We're both adults, can't we just sit down and talk it out whatever it is?

Gah, it's so frustrating.